Zombie Tales # 5

Writers: William Messner-Loebs, Ian Brill, Brian Augustyn
Artists: Matt Cossin, Leno Carvalho, Jason Ho
Published: August 2008
Publisher: Boom! Studios

Z is for "it's the end of the world!"

Zombies, zombies, zombies, what's life without zombies? Well I'll tell ya - bor-ring!

Zombie Tales # 5 is surprisingly good. I didn't expect much, considering that zombies have been on the comic scene for some time now, but the 3 short tales included in this issue have a definite unique slant.

The first tale, He ain't Heaven, He's My Brother, concerns a devoted sister who takes her zombie brother to a televangelist for a $50 cure. The second tale, Sanctuary, is about an jaded atheist's who is on the run from zombie monsters, and seeks shelter in the last place she would consider, a church. Finally the last tale, Bait, is just that. A story about using a loved one as bait, but not in the traditional sense (if using loved ones as bait could be considered traditional.) The art is fantastic, and the stories reminded me of shortened tales straight out of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. If you've seen any Alfred Hitchcock, you'll know what I mean.

There is a site called PostSecret, and the site is all about secrets. People send in postcards that has a secret written down they've never told anyone. I got really into the site for about a week, and would obsessively look at peoples "secrets." I got a bit turned off by the whole affair. I could never figure out a good secret I would want to send in. Also, some of the secrets seemed a bit pretentious, too "arty" for my tastes, and some were just too sad. However, once and a while I would stumble across a real gem. While it's not exactly zombie specific, it certainly captures my inner desire if the zombie apocalypse took place. That would be my time to shine.Ah who am I kidding, I'd be one of the first ones down. That's it. My big postsecret would be: "I secretly fear the day the zombies take over that I'd be one of the first ones eaten, and that my experiments with monkeys and cheese drink would be the cause of the zombie apocalypse. Serves me right though. Nobody should mess with cheese drink. Ever."

Y the Last Man # 1

Writer: Brian K. Vaughan
Artist: Pia Guerra
Publisher: Vertigo
Published: September 2002

Y are all the males dead? More like why ask Y?

Just one year after September 11, Vertigo releases the apocalyptic Y the Last Man. The issue is set in a reality that has a mysterious "unknown something" kill all the males on the planet. The first issue introduces the players: Yorick the last man, Beth his girlfriend, Agent 355, Senator Jen Brown (Yoricks mom), Dr. Mann, and Alter.

The story unfolds in the manner of a countdown. The comic opens with all the men dead or dying. The story then jumps back 29 minutes earlier. In this time we meet Yorick who is an unemployed English Major and amateur escape artist/magician. At this time he is talking to his girlfriend Beth, who is in the Australian Outback. We then are introduced to Senator Jen Brown, who in a quick conversation with a fellow male senator tells him she is going to oppose abortion rights in Mexico. Agent 355 is a just that, an agent for the US government, on a secret mission. Dr. Mann is a pregnant scientist who is her own baby's father. Alter is an Israeli military combatant. Oh, and Yorick has a monkey named Ampersand.So there you have it. A rag tag group of characters who will be forced into each others paths, with plenty of sex and opportunities for more sex. I mean, come on, he is the only guy left on Earth. Oh wait, I forgot, Yorick is hopelessly devoted to his long distance girlfriend Beth and plans to propose to her. Well, there goes the plenitude of sex and opportunities for more sex.

I really liked this series. The characters are extremely interesting, and the events that unfold because of the gendercide are well thought out and plausible (in a comic book kinda way of course). All round a great series for the OCD in all of us, 'cause once you start reading Y, you won't be able to stop.

X-Men Unlimited # 37

Writer: Kaare Andrews
Artist: Kaare Andrews, Dave McCaig, Mike Kunkel, Joshua Middleton, Troy Nixey, Dave Stewart, Skottie Young, Pat Duke
Publisher: Marvel
Published: September 2002

X is for X-Men! X-Men!

This is another one of those issues that I picked up because the cover kicked ass. As you can see, it has many, many versions of Wolverine duking it out and it looks absolutely awesome! As for the story, it's pretty awesome too.

The issue follows a farmer who summons a boy named Hutch into his plain of existence. Hutch is a boy who was born into all worlds but none. He is split between all the different realities, but when the farmer summons him he ends up creating a convergence in all the worlds which allows Mephisto a chance to destroy everything. The X-Men, all the many versions are there to fight him. As the issue progresses we find out that Hutch is the son of Illyana, who just wants her boy back. In the end Hutch sacrifices his solidarity in one reality to save all realities. What a nice boy!

The great thing about these type of tales is that it offers a wide range of artists. It's like a sampler of talent, and it allows the reader the chance to see a variety of styles. I was greatly impressed by Nixey and Stewarts version of Mephisto. Real creepy and yet powerful! Also the little Wolverine and little X-Men scene was pretty wicked. The comic is worth a read just for the artistic wonders inside.

Gold Key Spotlight # 3: Wacky Witch

Publisher: Western Publishing Company
Published: October 1976

W is for wacky, as in how wacky is it that this issue of Gold Key Spotlight doesn't have an artist or writer? Yeah - wacky!

This issue has Wacky Witch up to all sorts of hex-jinks. The first tale has her magic-ing up a scepter that will punish the bad and spoil the good. The scepter ends up doing the reverse, with the good getting powder and the bad getting gold coins. She ends up replacing the coins with tar and feathers, so the bad guys get what's coming to them....

Ok here's the deal. I'm a bit tired today, and I'm starting to hit the "wall" when it comes to reviewing these comics. However, I will soldier on, but for today's comic, I found that the advertisements were more interesting than the stories. Since I can't determine the writer/artist, I don't feel too bad that I'm going to bypass their work to post the ads. Enjoy!


My favorite is the "Smoking Pets" ad.

Vertigo Pop! Tokyo # 1 of 4

Writer: Jonathan Vankin
Artist: Seth Fisher
Colorist: Chris Chuckry
Publisher: Vertigo
Published: September 2002

V is for Vertigo. Pop! goes the weasel.

Vertigo Pop! Tokyo concerns a group of characters who by destiny and chance meet and are soon caught up in the bizarre world of gangsters and pop music. Ryuji-Kun is a newly accepted gangster who just doesn't seem to fit into the seamy world of crime. Steve moved to Tokyo so he could "buy cool shit" as he puts it. Maki-Chan dreams of being a star, and she'll do what it takes to be just that.

Issue one has Steve being arrested because the police assume he is using counterfeit phone cards. Maki-Chan rescues the poor boy so she can practice her english. Meanwhile Ryuji-Kun is ordered on a very special task for the Yakuza. The issue ends with the three of them meeting up at the "One Six Seven" concert, as Maki-Chan uses Steve (Steve is pretending to be a foreign journalist) to get backstage to meet the lead singer Hike. At this point Steve and Maki-Chan meet Ryuji-Kun as he plans to cut up Hike. Ooohhh....tense!

What makes this series standout is the artwork and little insights into Japanese culture. Seth Fisher (RIP) was a fantastic artist. His artwork is like a sushi roll, detailed, compact, cute, slightly absurd, and obsessive. The story by Vankin has all the elements of a tamed down Tarantino film. The characters are off beat, hailing from niche sub-cultures, each on the road to something only they can understand and want. Vertigo Pop! Tokyo is a must read for any Fisher fans or people who just like to read stories about Japan.

Ultimate Spider-Man # 12

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mark Bagley
Publisher: Marvel
Published: October 2001

U is for Ultimate Power with Ultimate Responsibility.

Two Spider-Man reviews in a week. I know - amazing...but not spectacular. Issue 12 has Spider-Man infiltrating Kingpins headquarters to retrieve some recorded video of a recent murder. During the daring heist, Spider-man is forced to take out Electro and the Enforcers, and ultimately, the Kingpin.

See what I did there...I wrote a review in less than 30 seconds. It's my ode to the 30 second review. That, and I got plans tonight. Getting drunk tonight! Kidding...I take that back.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shell of The Dragon

Writers: Mark Bode, Kevin Eastman
Artist: Mark Bode
Publisher: Mirage Studios
Published: December 1990

T is for "Thank You Bruce Lee 4 Fighting For The Little Guy Everywhere."

As all you Bruce Lee fans are aware, today is the day the Little Dragon was birthed into life, November 27 1940. He would have been 68 years old today, and would have probably been in better shape than I'll ever be. Happy Birthday Bruce!

The reason I chose TMNT today was because it started with the letter T and the issue is dedicated to Bruce Lee. The whole premise of the issue is pretty much a homage to all of the Bruce Lee flicks. The story begins with the turtles visiting China, and while waiting for some food, the restaurant is attacked by some goons. The goons work for a corrupt business man who's plan is to take over all the restaurants and food related businesses.

One restaurant, Hu-Shan's, isn't willing to sell, and so is being terrorized to no end. The turtles end up beating up the goons, and at this point, Chang Lee enters the scene. He is there to visit his uncle. The goons show up again, but this time it's Lee who does the ass kicking. The bad guys are desperate at this point, so they hire Buff Nordick, a renowned tough martial artist, who just so happens to hate turtles with a passion (due to a childhood trauma).

So if anyone has seen any Bruce Lee films, well it is fairly obivous how this one ends. If you haven't seen any of these flicks, do yourself a favor, and check em' out.

This was a great issue from the first page to the last. Mark Bode is a great artist, and I would be amiss to say he hasn't inherited his fathers artistic style. His work on this issue is perfect for TMNT because he is able to infuse the absurd with intense action. As for his depiction of Bruce Lee, lets just say there are a lot of Lee inspired comics out there, but his rendition is definitely one of the best.

Spidey and the Mini Marvels # 1

Writer/Artist: Chris Giarrusso
Publisher: Marvel
Published: May 2003

S is for Spidey!

I haven't reviewed any Spider-Man comics since I started my 365 run, and so today I end this Spider-man drought, once and for all! LET THERE BE SPIDER-MAN! or in today's case, SPIDEY!

Ain't he cute!

You know it.

This amazing first issue has Spidey competing with Venom to see who will get the honor of delivering Daily Bugle papers to the Osborn household. The two of them are forced to compete in an obstacle course, but neither are willing to do so, and so the J. Jonah Jameson is forced to decide for them...with dire consequences for the nefarious Goblin father/son duo.

The second tale of this spectacular issue concerns Wolverines quest for his favorite breakfast cereal, X-Crunch. He visits the local superstore, but is accused of stealing by management - poor little guy! Upon leaving the store, he is tackled by Sabertooth and Toad. Wolverine is assisted by the mother of a bear cub (he rescued the bear cub earlier in the ish), and the battle is concluded as Sabertooth and Toad are sent flying by mother bear wielding a golf club. The tale ends with Wolvie sitting down to a much earned breakfast, only to have his cereal end up on the ground, due to an earlier dispute between his claws and the table leg. Can't Marvel cut Wolvie a break once and a while?

What I find interesting is the love/hate thing Wolvie has got going with bears. When he's a mini, he's all about saving them, but when he's older, Wolvie's all about eatin' em (see Marvel Comics Presents issue 54 & 55). What happened? I'm thinking a limited edition series, consisting of 8 issues written by Kevin Smith, spaced out over 3 years, of Wolverine versus the bears. Shit, know what the reminds me of?...

Well I'm gonna tell ya!

In the movie, The Golden Compass, there is one helluva bear fight.

That's it.

Go see it.



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Gumby's Summer Fun Special

Shazam!

RoboCop # 1

Writer: Frank Miller, Steven Grant
Artist: Juan Jose Ryp
Publisher: Avatar Press
Published: July 2003

R is for aRibaderchi to criminal scum.

This was Frank Miller's story for the sequel to RoboCop. Like most things in Hollywood it fell through. HOWEVER, us comic folk are left with this adapted version. Initial thoughts: "Gee willikers is RoboCop violent!"

Issue one sets the stage. The cops are on strike, and the media is having a field day reporting on the chaos of the city. The commercials are super-sexed advertisements for a world that doesn't exist. The commercials kinda remind me of Total Recall or Running Man, where the reality on TV is a glossed up illusion, and real life is far from. The city is going to hell, and only the most dedicated cops are on patrol. One of those dedicated cops is RoboCop, and he ain't taking no shit, strike or no strike. Issue one has him rescuing a kidnapped girl, and then storming an illegal child slave ring. The issue ends with RoboCop being forced to choose between killing himself or having a child die in his stead.

Deep stuff. Sort of.

Strictly on a first issue read only, I can see the Millerisms spring forth: city gone horribly bad, lone figure who holds back the darkness, and the self-obsessed media who reports on the madness. If anyone knows Miller, these same themes are straight out of Dark Knight Returns. The only difference I can tell is that the scenes of violence are extremely more graphic, kids as victims are amped, and the level of sex appeal is increased, (but not in a titillating manner - more the overly exaggerated manner to highlight how silly it all is). Overall, I would only recommend this series for Miller or RoboCop fans, of folks who just like it when things go boom, splat, and "IT'S FUCKING ROBOCOP! SHIT, WE'RE FUCKED!"
Next time pay your fine!