Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Ka-Zar The Savage # 6

Writers: Bruce Jones and Brent Anderson
Artists: Brent Anderson
Colorist: Don Warfield
Publisher: Marvel
Published: September 1981

K is for ketchup and grilled cheese sandwiches. What you'll need: sliced bread, cheese, and butter. Heat medium sized pan on medium heat for a few minutes. While waiting to heat, butter sides of bread. Then add cheese to middle. Cook on heated pan until each side is golden brown and cheese melted.

Variation (my girlfriends weird method): Toast bread. When done to your preference, place cheese between toasted bread slices and microwave until cheese melted. I always, say, sure it's a grilled cheese in theory, but BY HELL IT IS NO GRILLED CHEESE! I then I precede to get all 1950's on her and "send her to the moon"...you know what I mean...domestic abuse....that's right...welcome to the new low.

Well speaking of domestic abuse, let's take a look at Ka-Zar issue numero 6. Ka-Zar and Shanna are taking a snooze, when all the sudden it starts snowing. Shanna wakes up in joy and proceeds to throw a snowball in Ka-Zar's face. Well as I'm sure all you Ka-Zar aficionados are wondering "why would it snow in Pangaea, a tropical environment?" Good question. It's not! Shanna is hallucinating the snowfall, and Ka-Zar doesn't take too kindly to be woken up by a clump of dirt being thrown in his face.

Later, while Ka-Zar is giving Zabu a wash, Shanna begins to have another of her episodes. She screams the water is rising. Clearly it is not, so Ka-Zar has to dish out the only thing a crazy person responds to: a good ol' slap to the face. (See, my joke on domestic abuse is ok because it fits today's comic review. And here you thought I was some sort of 1950s family man sadist. I guess the jokes on you, sucka!) Soon after, Ka-Zar battles a giant scorpion, whereupon he receives a small nick from the stinger. Thinking nothing of it, the two of them go on with their day. That night, Ka-Zar enters a coma, and Shanna unaware of her bf's state, follows some music, meets a mental projection of Dherk of Atlantis, who is frozen in his Atlantean lab. The two of them make out.

Karma's a bitch Ka-Zar! Slap your lady, and ya get stung by a giant scorpion and your woman will make out with a mentally projected man.

Moving along, Dherk, being the nice guy that he is, wants Shanna to leave Ka-Zar to his fate, and join him in his techno frostiness. She declines his offer, staying true to Ka-Zar. Dherk, also being the typical lover boy that he is, leads Shanna and comatose Ka-Zar to his lab. The journey proves to be too much for Shanna as she eventually tires out after a battle with a pterodactyl and a harrowing climb into snowy peaks. Dherk is forced to exert all his energy to help Shanna arrive at his lab. The issue ends with Dherk dead, having spent all his energy to save Shanna and cure her abusive spouse Ka-Zar.

With the way Dherks eyeing Shanna, it's probably better he's dead. Cause if I were Ka-Zar, I'd get all jungle on his ass when I woke up.

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