Howard the Duck # 5

Writer: Steve Gerber
Artist: Gene Colan
Published: September 1976
Publisher: Marvel

H is for halitophobia. Yes, a small segment of the population suffer from the delusion they have bad breath, when in fact they don't. Now I normally don't bash phobia sufferers, and not to sound like an A1 sauce prime rib A-hole, but these sufferers can sma- man I want some ribs right now.

Howard the Duck issue 5 has Howard and his lady broke. They got but 50 cents, just enough to buy some candy bars for dinner. Because of their abject poverty Howard heads to the store to alleviate some aggravation, where he spots a Daffie the Duck comic. The comic is less than flattering to ducks as it depicts Daffie tricking a bear to jump off a cliff to his death. Oops

The story then moves on to Howard entering a television studio where he ends up in one of Gonzo the clown's skits. Howard gets hit in the face with a pie, and not taking to kindly to the joke, begins to pound the crap out of Gonzo on national tv. This short stint of fame leads Howard to getting a job as a collection agency agent, which he then quits because of the unfair circumstances in which he has to repo things back. Finally the issue ends with Howard getting into a wrestling match to earn some cash with the undefeated Goat, who is a behemoth of a man. Long story short, Howard wins, but doesn't meet the requirements of being a 'man' to defeat the wrestler.

So all in all a decent tale.

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.