OMAC # 2

Writer/Artist: Jack Kirby
Publisher: DC
Published: December 1974

OMAC! He is the ONE MAN ARMY CORP!

Beyond knowing that Chris Sims has a major hard-on for this guy, I myself know very little about the guy other than that HE IS A ONE MAN ARMY CORP!

Issue # 2 has OMAC entering a city that has been rented to a private citizen for a special party. Omac is denied entry, but then again this is OMAC! Observe:


I AM OMAC!

Besides OMAC going where only OMAC knows, OMAC is given a lift by a two party dressed fellows and they take him into the city. OMAC then meets up with Professor Myron Forest who tells that OMAC is linked with Brother Eye. Brother eye will help OMAC do the job of thousands, and contain war. Too bad for OMAC, but Mister Big has different plans for OMAC - to destroy Project OMAC!


OMAC!
OMAC!
OMAC!

Mad House # 96

Writers: Marvin Channing, Bruce Jones, John Jacobson
Artists: Sal Amendola, Jesse Santos, Bruce Jones
Publisher: Red Circle Productions
Published: November 1974

Back to business eh? Hell Yeah! Speaking of Hell, I picked up this gem of an issue. Mad House # 96 (number of a beast, but not the beast) has a few tales of high interest. Never Bother A Dead Man concerns a local funeral parlor and it's keeper being attacked by a local gang. Little does the gang leader realize, but he's picked the wrong house of dead people to terrorize. Sounds cool right? Well it is cool, sort of. The gang leader is literally scared to death when he is grabbed by a dead guy still undergoing rigamortis.

Demon Kiss is the best of the bunch, which has a young wannabe actress selling her soul to the devil for a major studio part. The only catch is, if she doesn't kiss someone within a year's time she will lose her soul. What fascinates me with these types of tales is that the characters bargaining with the devil always want superfluous shit. Yeah yeah, I know that's the moral of these stories: your soul is always the most valuable thing you have, but I would like to see someday somebody selling their soul for something great, like world peace, or even a better soul. You know what I mean, one of those souls that is so great it makes other people feel worse just to be around them...fuck I hate those type people.

The third tale is about a young witch foiling her coven's plan to summon a demon when she orders them at gun point to resurrect her dead husband. Upon his resurrection, she instantly offers to make him a meal. I just hope she plans on making him a meal of evil and barley, as her husband is not who she thinks he is - he's a fucking demon - GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!

Finally the last tale has a dog cursed by a gypsy woman killing its owners by pushing them down stairs. Bit of a let down considering the the caliber of the other tales, but it did satisfy my appetite for dogs murdering people in a no-nonsense manner. This dog must be Cujo's older, more responsible brother, the one that calls home every week to check up on the family gossip and bills.

Lone Wolf and Cub Vol. 1, Chapter 1

Writer: Kazuo Koike
Artist: Goseki Kojima
Publisher: Futabasha, Dark Horse Comics
Published: 1970, 2000

L is for Lone Wolf and Cub!

Up until this point I've been trying to be bit of a purist. I've tried to just focus on single issue comics, the standard size of 32 pages. I've avoided the graphic novels, unless they can be broken down into single issues, and I've also tried to stick to original publishing dates and publishers as best as I could. However, today being the letter L (I'm starting to remind myself of Seaseme Street), I had the choice of reviewing Lady Death or Lone Wolf and Cub, and I had to choose the latter. That's not to say that Lone Wolf and Cub is superior to Lady Death, but I can't justify writing a post strictly about Lady Death's boobs. Not yet anyway.

(NOW before I get the "oh you're just a sexist juvenile pig who can't get past Lady Death's boobs and focus on the epic emotional story of good versus evil," let me just say that I've done nothing wrong by stating that the Lady Death comics are only about boobs. For your information, I like boobs. My girlfriend has boobs, and she likes me,...at least she puts on the appearance she does...aww jeeze I hope she does...'cause I sure as hell don't want to relive my teenage years where my only date on a Saturday night was a Lady Death comic....)

So, today I'm reviewing Lone Wolf and Cub Volume 1: The Assassins Road, Chapter 1: Son for Hire, Sword For Hire, even though it is not a standard North American comic format. The opening chapter sets the tone for the entire series. It has Ogami Ittō (Lone Wolf) using his son to finish an assassins job. Ittō is hired to kill a local lord, but he needs to bypass the Guardians Eight, who are superior guardsman. Ittō sends in a false message that leads the Guardians to arresting him and his son as would be assassins. He and his son are then bound and taken before the Lord he was sent to kill. Daigoro, his son, ends up crying because he needs to pee, so the captors release Ittō to assist his son. Ittō ends up taking this moment of freedom to kill the lord with a concealed spear he had hidden in the baby cart. He then dispatches the Guardian Eight in a fury of sword strokes. The story ends with he and his son leaving untouched.

If you feel ripped off I gave away the entire plot of this story, which I did, don't worry, there are 28 volumes with about 5 or 6 chapters apiece, so you'll have plenty of reading ahead of you. Trust me, it is worth it, especially if you like historical fiction, graphic fights, father/son issues, and an epic bloody revenge story. Of if you don't have the time or money, rent the movies. They're pretty awesome in their own right. Let's just say Ogami Ittō puts Arnold's title of One Man Army to shame.

"Testing Hollywood For Love" Romances #51

Writer: J. Thomas
Artist: R. Davis
Publisher: Charlton
Published: February 1970

"Testing Hollywood for Love" Romances is quite the comic. It has three tales: Empty Kisses and Broken Heart's, Born to Heartbreak, and Testing For Love. Each tale begins with a kiss and then ends with a kiss. The story that elapses between the two kisses is only to distinguish the differences in the kisses. The first kiss is on an studio set between two actors and thus has no real "romantic" value. Each story then follows the female lead as she tries to find happiness; and this path to happiness involves giving up their acting career to become wives. The stories then conclude with the real "romantic" kiss between committed partners.

As a guy used to reading about Batman beating the tar out of some crook, this romance comic is definitely a glimpse into another world. Sure, there is no action besides heavy duty snogging, no real character development beyond lonely single career woman converted to married housewife, and no emotion beyond panels and panels of crying, but overall, it's a nice looking comic. The penmanship is crisp, detailed, and holds up to the test of time, even if the story themes don't.