Martial Arts, Authorized Training Manual: Michaelangelo and the Art of the Nunchaku

Writer: Peter Brody

Artist: Jason Rogers

Publisher: Solson Publications

Published: 1986

This gem is an authorized training manual on the art of the nunchaku, with illustrations of Michaelangelo providing the lessons. Need I say more?

Yes.

This manual is a great resource for kids to learn how to wield a dangerous weapon. I love it. When I was a kid, nunchucks were the holy grail of weapons. However, I missed the boat on this issue back in '86, and had to rely on Bruce Lee movies as my learning guide. I think I've done well over the years with my nunchucku skills. 100 bludgeoned can't be wrong, right?

One thing, I love about this issue is the illustrations are full bodied, composed of clean lines. So, if your kids are too young to take up the art of pummelling sticks, the comic makes for a handy colouring book.

I have a huge love of colouring books. Here's a link to some of my work on colouring books.

Also here are some odd ads in a training manual: Texas Chainsaw Samurai, and Sultry Teenage Super Foxes. Only in comics...

Marvel Comics Presents # 88: Wolverine

Writers: Peter David, Various
Artists: Sam Kieth, Various
Publisher: Marvel
Published: 1991

Growing up this was (and still is) one of my favorite Wolverine stories. It has everything: Wolvie getting beating up, Madripoor, a tough son of a b*tch villain, Tiger Tyger, and hot dog cars. This run also introduced me to Sam Kieth. Lately he has been doing a bunch of work on Batman, but it was Wolverine work that really put him over the top. Kieth deliviered one of the hariest, beastly Wolverines I've yet seen. This ain't no Hugh Jackman.

Wolverine has just been beaten, bad, by Cyber. Cyber is able to deliver hallucinogens via his toxin tipped fingernails. Issue 88 opens with Wolverine in a lot of pain, and the hallucinogens kicking in. He is relieving the moments when he first met Cyber. Wolvie is in school, and is not to pleased with Coach Cyber. Seems the coach has made the moves on his girl Janet. Too Bad for Wolvie that Coach Cyber has got a bigger sausage...car. Looks like the two are going to have a wiener show down.

Mr. Monster # 1: Origins

Writer/Artist: Michael T. Gilbert
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Published: February 1988

Another kick ass cover! Equal parts Batman-esque jumbled up with a fish creature dealio. The story revolves around Mister Monster losing the love of his life due to the demands of killing monsters. In the issue he uses a homemade flamethrower. Can't beat that.

Mnemovore # 4

Writer: Hans Rodionoff, Ray Fawkes
Artists: Mike Huddleston, Jeremy Cox
Publisher: Vertigo
Published: September 2005

According to Rue Morgue, this is "the must read horror comic of 2005." After reading this issue, I can see why Morgue thinks this to be true. It's a freaky read. Just to give a glimpse into the world of Mnemovore, there is this weird tentacle thingy going around killing things, or at least warping peoples sense of reality. Check some scans. This is some freak shit! Just goes to show that of monsters, the tentacle monster is still the scariest...that and spiders...which isn't too far off...

Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness # 2 of 5

Writer: John Layman
Artist/Colorist: Fabiano Neves/June Chung
Cover: Arthur Suydam
Publisher: Marvel/Dynamite Entertainment
Published: June 2007

90 seconds starting now!

Ash is in the Marvel Universe where zombies have taken over. He meets Spider-Man and the Punisher. The Punisher punishes people. Ash then saves Dazzler, and is impressed by her. They decide to go to visit Dr. Strange to get the Necronomicon to stop the zombies. the zombies are winning, and Ash is running out of one liners...or is he?

Oh and Howard the duck makes a very special guest appearance. A pretty good comic considering it's just capitalizing on the zombie madness. Time!






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Mantra

Uncanny X-Men #268

New Love # 1

Writers/Artists: Jaime & Gilbert Hernandez
Publisher: Fantagraphics
Published" August 1996

I'm new to the world of Love and Rockets, but from what I have read, it's pretty cool. The artwork looks great, and stories are interesting and 'life filled.' New Love has 2 stories and a couple strips attached.

The first tale has Venus getting in trouble for reading a porn comic. The second tale has this weird creepy guy trying to help his 'love.' His love happens to be a mob mistress, and to help her he has to stare into the depths of death (as far as I can figure). Each time he looks he has to stare longer and longer to get help from death. This subsequently causes him great harm. The story ends with his mother dead, and his love willing to follow him. To where, no idea: she just says she's going with him.

So, sticking to my love analogies, sometimes love means staring into the depths of death, and not knowing what the hell is going on. That and porn comics are not for minors.

Marvel Romance Redux # 1: But I Thought He Loved Me!

Writers: Jeff Parker, John Buscema, Roger Langridge, John Lustig, Stan Lee, Jimmy Palmiotti, Keith GiffenArtists: John Romita Sr., Dick Giordano, Vinny Colletta, Jack Kirby, Gene Colan, Jim Mooney

Publisher: Marvel

Published: April 2006

Another Marvel Romance Redux review. Similar to the last one I posted, this one has re-scripted stories to the old romance comics Marvel used to publish. I found this one to be better than the Guy's & Doll's issue. First off the artwork has Jack Kirby and John Romita Sr. doin' their thing. I find Romita's penciling of his female leads to be a bit more alluring than Kirby's. Kirby has a squarish face design to his characters which sometimes has his females looking a little manly. That being said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz...

The first tale is about a stripper who is also President of the USA, and the second is about a girl being ashamed of her tattoos. The third tale is about guns and relationships. The fourth tale is about marriage and not wanting it, and finally the last tale is a hit gone awry.

There you have it, a review that clearly show's I'm not trying, but much like romance, sometimes a person doesn't want to bother trying.

Marvel Romance Redux # 1: Guys & Dolls

Writers: Jeff Parker, Jim Starlin, John Lustig, Don Heck, Zeb Wells, Jean Thomas, Jimmy Palmiotti, Stan Lee, Frank Tieri
Artists: Jack Abel, Vinny Colletta, Gene Colan, Bill Everett, John Buscema, John Romita Sr., Frank Giacoia
Publisher: Marvel
Published: May 2006

It's that time of year again: Black History Month. Finally Chocolate City has become a reality. Nice.

Oh - also Valentines Day is fast approaching.

Here's a comic with romance on the agenda. Marvel's Romance Redux is equal parts an ode to the past and a satirical send up. Marvel has dug deep into the vault, dredging up the old romance comics of yesteryear and re-scripting the stories.

The first tale involves a witch who falls prey to a Diner Demon, and the second tale involves money and relationships. The third tale has a woman in love twisting her true nature, and the fourth involves forbidden love. Finally the last story has a star being born.

I found this issue pretty good. The new scripts were funny, and complemented the art quite well. I especially liked the issue involving the Diner Demon. The lead female character was a witch who was falling in love with a guy who only thought of food. Kinda reminded me of Carl Weathers when he was guest starring on Arrested Development.

The art is fantastic and even though the stories lack the original script it is pretty easy to figure out the original plot for most of these stories. They usually involve a lonely or unhappy girl who meets a man, falls in love, under goes some sort of drama, then it all wraps up with a kiss or the girl is still lonely. It seems like a lot of these old stories were all about finding a mate or your doomed to unhappiness, which I guess is what Valentines Day is all about!

OMAC # 2

Writer/Artist: Jack Kirby
Publisher: DC
Published: December 1974

OMAC! He is the ONE MAN ARMY CORP!

Beyond knowing that Chris Sims has a major hard-on for this guy, I myself know very little about the guy other than that HE IS A ONE MAN ARMY CORP!

Issue # 2 has OMAC entering a city that has been rented to a private citizen for a special party. Omac is denied entry, but then again this is OMAC! Observe:


I AM OMAC!

Besides OMAC going where only OMAC knows, OMAC is given a lift by a two party dressed fellows and they take him into the city. OMAC then meets up with Professor Myron Forest who tells that OMAC is linked with Brother Eye. Brother eye will help OMAC do the job of thousands, and contain war. Too bad for OMAC, but Mister Big has different plans for OMAC - to destroy Project OMAC!


OMAC!
OMAC!
OMAC!

Naughty Bits # 17

Writer/Artist: Roberta Gregory
Publisher: Fantagraphics
Published: August 1995

I don't really have too much to say on this comic, beyond it was an interesting read. The main character Midge aka Bitchy Bitch is a confused mess who sleeps around and worries more about what people think about her then what she thinks about herself. While enjoying different sexual partners she joins a Woman's Collective. She stands out in stark contrast to the other woman that also attend, but in the end she shares a painful memory and is accepted by the group.

Also in this issue she develops a yeast infection, contracts gonorrhea, finds a new job, finds out her roommate is lesbian, and she has a fight with her parents. Definitely an eventful 18 pages.

My first year of university I took a woman's studies class. Man that sucked. I mean, woman that sucked. Never mind my initial reasons for taking the class, let me just say that back then I was a lot more determined and hard headed than I am now, and against my better judgment I stuck it out. Each week I looked forward to attending a class where I was the only male present, and the main topic of interest was: "what men do to ruin our lives?"

Just joking!...but at times it felt like that because a few of the students used the class as a forum to discuss how a man, or men, had or have worsened their life. Now, don't get me wrong for stating this. I'm not saying my fellow classmates had no right to bitch about men; I just couldn't help but feel that some of the ladies present saw me as a typical male that causes the sort of typical male shit that men cause and so I felt all eyes were on me.

In the end I can't blame them, I did err on my part. I joined a class that didn't want me there but let me stay out of forced politeness, and if anything, I'm thankful they sheathed their claws slightly because I just know if those cats* really wanted to scratch, I would have been a heap of sliced man meat.

* Yes, I know that women don't like being referred to as cats. I would have said "chicks" but everyone knows chicks are too tiny and cute to cut shit, so my last remark wouldn't have made sense. If I had said "hens" on the other hand...well that probably would have been worse, so ladies - you owe me one!

Better yet: we'll call it even. Equality. How refreshing.

Mad House # 96

Writers: Marvin Channing, Bruce Jones, John Jacobson
Artists: Sal Amendola, Jesse Santos, Bruce Jones
Publisher: Red Circle Productions
Published: November 1974

Back to business eh? Hell Yeah! Speaking of Hell, I picked up this gem of an issue. Mad House # 96 (number of a beast, but not the beast) has a few tales of high interest. Never Bother A Dead Man concerns a local funeral parlor and it's keeper being attacked by a local gang. Little does the gang leader realize, but he's picked the wrong house of dead people to terrorize. Sounds cool right? Well it is cool, sort of. The gang leader is literally scared to death when he is grabbed by a dead guy still undergoing rigamortis.

Demon Kiss is the best of the bunch, which has a young wannabe actress selling her soul to the devil for a major studio part. The only catch is, if she doesn't kiss someone within a year's time she will lose her soul. What fascinates me with these types of tales is that the characters bargaining with the devil always want superfluous shit. Yeah yeah, I know that's the moral of these stories: your soul is always the most valuable thing you have, but I would like to see someday somebody selling their soul for something great, like world peace, or even a better soul. You know what I mean, one of those souls that is so great it makes other people feel worse just to be around them...fuck I hate those type people.

The third tale is about a young witch foiling her coven's plan to summon a demon when she orders them at gun point to resurrect her dead husband. Upon his resurrection, she instantly offers to make him a meal. I just hope she plans on making him a meal of evil and barley, as her husband is not who she thinks he is - he's a fucking demon - GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!

Finally the last tale has a dog cursed by a gypsy woman killing its owners by pushing them down stairs. Bit of a let down considering the the caliber of the other tales, but it did satisfy my appetite for dogs murdering people in a no-nonsense manner. This dog must be Cujo's older, more responsible brother, the one that calls home every week to check up on the family gossip and bills.