Miracleman # 1

Writer: Alan Moore
Artist: Gary Leach
Publisher: Warrior, Eclipse
Published: March 1982, August 1985

M is for Marvelma-eh what's that Marvel? You want me to say it's called Miracleman or you're sending in the Avengers to 'fix' things. Well ok...

Probably one of the best series to hit the comic scene that you'll never read. My little speech above about Marvel is just the tip of the iceberg as to what is plaguing the re-release of this great series. Miracleman is tied up in so much legal mumbo jumbo over the title, content, and ownership that it will be a cold day in hell before us little folk will ever be given the chance to purchase this comic. Which is a shame, because this series needs to be read by any serious comic fan.

Miracleman issue one is broken into four chapters. The first chapter is written/drawn as if it were straight out of the 50s sci-fi comics. It involves the Miracle Family having to travel through time to 1981 to stop the Science Gestapo from controlling the Earth. The Science Gestapo had traveled back to the 50s to overrun Earth with their superior weapons, but were unprepared to deal with Miracleman and Co.

The second chapter we are introduced to Michael Moran, a freelance journalist, and his wife. Michael suffers from migraines and nightmares of flying and then being burned by a horrible explosion. Later, while at a job, he is taken hostage by terrorists. His migraine worsens, and he feels he is being forced to remember something. That something just so happens to be the magic word to summon Miracleman: "Kimota" (Atomic backwards). Once spoken, the word transforms him into Miracleman, whereupon he burns and destroys his captors. He leaps to the air, exclaiming he is back!

Finally the third and fourth chapter has Miracleman explaining to his wife that he is indeed Michael Moran. After some awkward explanations, she begins to accept the truth. The issue ends with Michael being contacted by an old friend, Johnny Bates (Kid Miracle of the Miracleman Family), who is not as he appears to be. By this I mean, he's a raving lunatic corrupt with power. The issue ends with Kid Miracle about to show Miracleman what 27 years of unchecked power can really do to a person.

OK, so I've set the stage, and your probably sitting on the edge of your seat in excitement. If not, blame me, not Miracleman. This story deserves your attention, because if those sharks in suits keep about their business, the world will never get the chance to see Miracleman in action. Normally I don't advocate torrents, on the grounds that it is stealing (and it is, and we all do it to one degree or another so lets not delude ourselves and call it what it is - stealing) but this series deserves to be stolen, 'cause otherwise you'll never get the chance to read it. Once you're done head out and buy Swamp Thing or Watchmen to alleviate your guilt.





More Comix 365 articles:  

Bettie Page comics

Dark Knight of the Scarecrow

Lone Wolf and Cub Vol. 1, Chapter 1

Writer: Kazuo Koike
Artist: Goseki Kojima
Publisher: Futabasha, Dark Horse Comics
Published: 1970, 2000

L is for Lone Wolf and Cub!

Up until this point I've been trying to be bit of a purist. I've tried to just focus on single issue comics, the standard size of 32 pages. I've avoided the graphic novels, unless they can be broken down into single issues, and I've also tried to stick to original publishing dates and publishers as best as I could. However, today being the letter L (I'm starting to remind myself of Seaseme Street), I had the choice of reviewing Lady Death or Lone Wolf and Cub, and I had to choose the latter. That's not to say that Lone Wolf and Cub is superior to Lady Death, but I can't justify writing a post strictly about Lady Death's boobs. Not yet anyway.

(NOW before I get the "oh you're just a sexist juvenile pig who can't get past Lady Death's boobs and focus on the epic emotional story of good versus evil," let me just say that I've done nothing wrong by stating that the Lady Death comics are only about boobs. For your information, I like boobs. My girlfriend has boobs, and she likes me,...at least she puts on the appearance she does...aww jeeze I hope she does...'cause I sure as hell don't want to relive my teenage years where my only date on a Saturday night was a Lady Death comic....)

So, today I'm reviewing Lone Wolf and Cub Volume 1: The Assassins Road, Chapter 1: Son for Hire, Sword For Hire, even though it is not a standard North American comic format. The opening chapter sets the tone for the entire series. It has Ogami Ittō (Lone Wolf) using his son to finish an assassins job. Ittō is hired to kill a local lord, but he needs to bypass the Guardians Eight, who are superior guardsman. Ittō sends in a false message that leads the Guardians to arresting him and his son as would be assassins. He and his son are then bound and taken before the Lord he was sent to kill. Daigoro, his son, ends up crying because he needs to pee, so the captors release Ittō to assist his son. Ittō ends up taking this moment of freedom to kill the lord with a concealed spear he had hidden in the baby cart. He then dispatches the Guardian Eight in a fury of sword strokes. The story ends with he and his son leaving untouched.

If you feel ripped off I gave away the entire plot of this story, which I did, don't worry, there are 28 volumes with about 5 or 6 chapters apiece, so you'll have plenty of reading ahead of you. Trust me, it is worth it, especially if you like historical fiction, graphic fights, father/son issues, and an epic bloody revenge story. Of if you don't have the time or money, rent the movies. They're pretty awesome in their own right. Let's just say Ogami Ittō puts Arnold's title of One Man Army to shame.

Ka-Zar The Savage # 6

Writers: Bruce Jones and Brent Anderson
Artists: Brent Anderson
Colorist: Don Warfield
Publisher: Marvel
Published: September 1981

K is for ketchup and grilled cheese sandwiches. What you'll need: sliced bread, cheese, and butter. Heat medium sized pan on medium heat for a few minutes. While waiting to heat, butter sides of bread. Then add cheese to middle. Cook on heated pan until each side is golden brown and cheese melted.

Variation (my girlfriends weird method): Toast bread. When done to your preference, place cheese between toasted bread slices and microwave until cheese melted. I always, say, sure it's a grilled cheese in theory, but BY HELL IT IS NO GRILLED CHEESE! I then I precede to get all 1950's on her and "send her to the moon"...you know what I mean...domestic abuse....that's right...welcome to the new low.

Well speaking of domestic abuse, let's take a look at Ka-Zar issue numero 6. Ka-Zar and Shanna are taking a snooze, when all the sudden it starts snowing. Shanna wakes up in joy and proceeds to throw a snowball in Ka-Zar's face. Well as I'm sure all you Ka-Zar aficionados are wondering "why would it snow in Pangaea, a tropical environment?" Good question. It's not! Shanna is hallucinating the snowfall, and Ka-Zar doesn't take too kindly to be woken up by a clump of dirt being thrown in his face.

Later, while Ka-Zar is giving Zabu a wash, Shanna begins to have another of her episodes. She screams the water is rising. Clearly it is not, so Ka-Zar has to dish out the only thing a crazy person responds to: a good ol' slap to the face. (See, my joke on domestic abuse is ok because it fits today's comic review. And here you thought I was some sort of 1950s family man sadist. I guess the jokes on you, sucka!) Soon after, Ka-Zar battles a giant scorpion, whereupon he receives a small nick from the stinger. Thinking nothing of it, the two of them go on with their day. That night, Ka-Zar enters a coma, and Shanna unaware of her bf's state, follows some music, meets a mental projection of Dherk of Atlantis, who is frozen in his Atlantean lab. The two of them make out.

Karma's a bitch Ka-Zar! Slap your lady, and ya get stung by a giant scorpion and your woman will make out with a mentally projected man.

Moving along, Dherk, being the nice guy that he is, wants Shanna to leave Ka-Zar to his fate, and join him in his techno frostiness. She declines his offer, staying true to Ka-Zar. Dherk, also being the typical lover boy that he is, leads Shanna and comatose Ka-Zar to his lab. The journey proves to be too much for Shanna as she eventually tires out after a battle with a pterodactyl and a harrowing climb into snowy peaks. Dherk is forced to exert all his energy to help Shanna arrive at his lab. The issue ends with Dherk dead, having spent all his energy to save Shanna and cure her abusive spouse Ka-Zar.


With the way Dherks eyeing Shanna, it's probably better he's dead. Cause if I were Ka-Zar, I'd get all jungle on his ass when I woke up.

Justice League: The New Frontier

Writer: Darwyn Cooke
Artists: Darwyn Cooke, David Bullock, J. Bone
Publisher: DC
Published: May 2008

J is for the main course consisting of steak (medium rare) with a side order of JUSTICE! Justice may be blind, but even she can't deny the sweet smell of a steak grilled to succulent satisfaction...ummm....

This issue of Justice League was released just before the DC DVD, Justice League: The New Frontier, hit the stands. It is comprised of three short stories revolving around Cooke's interpretation of DC's Silver Age heroes.

The first tale has a battle between Batman and Superman, with Wonder Woman breaking them up. It covers the first meeting between Batman and Superman. Supes has been ordered to take down Batman, and being the boy scout he is, he plans to, even without Wonder Woman's help. So when the big day comes and Superman makes his assault, he's a little unprepared for what Batman has in store for him. As usual. When will Superman learn?

The second tale is about Robin and Kid Flash taking down some dragster thugs and communists.

Finally, the last tale is about Wonder Woman. This is by far the best tale of the bunch. It has Wonder Woman living up to her standard of the ultimate Feminist Hero. Wonder Woman is enraged at the sexist views that pervade America. She exclaims that if equality won't stand on it's own, then she will enforce it. This leads to her and Black Canary infiltrating a newly opened 'bunny club' in Gotham.

Now, I hate to give away too much of this tale, but I just have to add that it involves a burning breast plate that fueled an ideology that lit America on fire in the 60s. Aw forget it, I'm going to attach the image. This is one of those tales that has to be shared, because I don't imagine it'll go into reprint. Also, props to J. Bone for making Wonder Woman a little more curvy than usual. It really suits her. And props to Darwyn Cooke for being the only artist (that I know of) for having the male genitalia to draw Wonder Woman taller/broader than DC's big boys. As he says, she is Amazonian after all.

The Incredible Hulk # 49

Writer: Bruce Jones
Artist: Stuart Immonen
Cover Artist: Kaare Andrews
Publisher: Marvel
Published: March 2003

I is for the indomitable incredible HULK! SMASH!

The only reason I picked this issue up was because of the cover by Andrews. It's an homage of Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are, which is a tale concerning a young boy named Max and his journey into wild country. Sendak has a wicked drawing style. He is able to keep the monsters cute, but not so cute that you would want to hang out with them. They're still monsters after all. In an interview with Maurice, he states his inspiration for the monsters were his family. He goes on to say that when he was growing up the real monsters were his aunts and uncles, with their big noses, and monstrous features, and they would tug and bug him to no end.

Where The Wild Things Are is currently in production to be a live action movie directed by Spike Jonze. Apparently, however, after a screening with some children, the movie was too scarey, with kids crying and demanding to leave the theatre. The studio heads are not a fan of this development, so I hear they are going to be re-shooting some or all of the film. Too bad. I would love to see the original.

Ok, back to business, the Hulk comic. Now, the Hulk is the split persona of Bruce Banner, a scientist who was blasted with gamma rays. To me it's just a green spin on Jekyll and Hyde, but with a contemporary spin. Hulk has since been turned into several live action movies, starting with the 70s version starring Lou Ferringno as Hulk and Bill Bixby as Bruce. In the last few years it has been adapted into two major film adaptations.

The first Hulk film directed by Ang Lee focused on the emotional anger that fueled the Hulk, and the relationship between father and son. This film was not a favorite of Hulk fans, but from a story level, I thought it worked very well. Some of the most interesting aspects of Hulk is the comparison between Bruce and Hulk, and what drives them. Also, having seen (and liked) Eat Drink Man Woman, it comes as no surprise that Lee would focus on family relationships as fuel for the green fire.

The more recent Hulk starring Liv Tyler and Ed Norton got back to basics. They scrapped the family/emotional arc and got to the smashing. Which, really is what the Hulk is all about. Smashing, and lots of more smashing. So, in this regard I really liked the film. In many ways, the two films are psychological manifestations of the duality between Banner and the Hulk. Each film views Hulk from a different perspective, but in the end, they are both Hulk films though and through.

Oh, the comic review: Hulk kills a guy/monster named Pratt, and something or the other. Hey, I only bought the comic because cover, so I have no idea of the storyline up to this point, and couldn't really figure out the big picture. Next up:



THE LETTER J - YEAH J! 

More Comix 365 articles:  

Batman B&W 3D

R. Grampa Mesmo Delivery

Howard the Duck # 5

Writer: Steve Gerber
Artist: Gene Colan
Published: September 1976
Publisher: Marvel

H is for halitophobia. Yes, a small segment of the population suffer from the delusion they have bad breath, when in fact they don't. Now I normally don't bash phobia sufferers, and not to sound like an A1 sauce prime rib A-hole, but these sufferers can sma- man I want some ribs right now.

Howard the Duck issue 5 has Howard and his lady broke. They got but 50 cents, just enough to buy some candy bars for dinner. Because of their abject poverty Howard heads to the store to alleviate some aggravation, where he spots a Daffie the Duck comic. The comic is less than flattering to ducks as it depicts Daffie tricking a bear to jump off a cliff to his death. Oops

The story then moves on to Howard entering a television studio where he ends up in one of Gonzo the clown's skits. Howard gets hit in the face with a pie, and not taking to kindly to the joke, begins to pound the crap out of Gonzo on national tv. This short stint of fame leads Howard to getting a job as a collection agency agent, which he then quits because of the unfair circumstances in which he has to repo things back. Finally the issue ends with Howard getting into a wrestling match to earn some cash with the undefeated Goat, who is a behemoth of a man. Long story short, Howard wins, but doesn't meet the requirements of being a 'man' to defeat the wrestler.

So all in all a decent tale.

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Green Lantern # 181

Writer: Len Wein, Paul Kupperberg
Artist: Dve Gibbons, Don Newton
Colorist: Anthony Tollin
Publisher: DC
Published: October 1984

G is for gee that little brown puff ball is cute - aw shit he's got a deadly green ball thing!

I think I own a couple Green Lantern issues, and this is one of them. I've had this issue over 15 years now, and until yesterday I've never read it. The only reason I read it was because:

1. Today is the letter G - Aw yeah! and it was this or another GI Joe issue, so yeah,
2. It has a Star Wars-esque tale attached, but...
3. instead of a Luke Skywalker character starring we have a Green Lantern squirrel.
4. It was about time I read the damn thing. I mean, leave it to a comic collector to keep a comic in pristine condition without having ever read it. We're sick folk...

So, the opening chapter has Hal Jordan turning in his papers. That's right. He's had enough of those old guys on councils shit, and he's decided to focus his attention on his woman. Awww yeah, it's business time. Meanwhile, the other Green Lantern corps aren't too happy with this and try to dissuade him. Hal will have none of this and demands to be stripped of his Green Lantern power. The tale ends with Hal and Carol starring off into space, and Hal questioning his decision to turn in the ring.

Now the fur ball. The tale begins much the same way Return of the Jedi does. Alien folk are partying, and in the back is silhouetted a little guy in a Jedi type cloak. He enters the bar, and the patrons begin to give him a hard time. The little guy tears off his cloak, and lo and behold it's a squirrell Green Lantern. Fuck he's cute as shit! The baddies don't think so as he summons green shaped weapons from his ring to pummel them. Turns out the baddies are space pirates that just killed a space liner's passengers, and he's there to bring some LAW! AWWW YEAH!Until this issue, I hadn't given it much consideration that because the Green Lantern Corps are space cops comprised of inhabitants of different galaxies, that there would, logically, be a squirrel cop. I mean why not? The universe is huge, and I'm sure somewhere there is a galaxy with planets inhabited with squirrels. So it only makes sense one of them would be a cop. Imagine that. A little squirrel cop, wearing a green suit with a green mask and a little green ring, cute, but not so cute as he summons up a phantom hammer to crush in your skull all the while staring at you with black unblinking eyes of utter impassiveness. It's not personal. It's just a job. As you lay there, pinned by his green hammer you struggle to fight off the encroaching blackness, the little green and brown fur ball stares straight into your blood shot eyes and says: "Don't fuck with the nut."

Get it? Squirrels like nuts. You should watch the little guys go nuts for nuts. Shit, I gotta bunch of them living near my house, and the little guys just bound up and down, 24/7, racing for the next nut. And their smart too. They even catch a glimpse of another creature nearing them, and they're gone. It's all about the nuts. Aww yeah...oh wait....